4 Easy Group Exercises: Normalizing talking about sex and other important issues

via United Black Element (U-BE) Adaptation of the Mpowerment Project to Young Black MSM.  There are more exercises in the adaptation manual. It is a free download when you register at www.mpowerment.org

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Setting up the space and setting the tone for exercises.

Note: We recommend conducting this brief opening activity at the beginning of each session of activities below. 

Objective

• To get participants involved right away by participating in setting the atmosphere. 
• Having the statements (see list below) on separate signs and posted throughout the room is meant to more easily catch the attention of the participants, who might otherwise easily disregard a list of items all on one sign.

Materials

• Signs

• Something to easily attach the signs to the walls so they can be removed later and re-used.

Ask participants to post the individual signs on the walls around the room


Instructions for the facilitators

Convene the participants back to the center of the room and ask them to read the signs silently and take in their meaning 

Statements to be posted on individual signs

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All questions are important.

Thank you for being here with us.

Join in!

You opinions are invaluable for each one and all of us.

Each single one of us is special and unique.

Your friends need you. Show them that they matter to you.

Your whole community needs you.

The world we dream of is possible. Let's build it together.

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Mpowerment 3-day Training Newark NJ 7.2014

RELATED: 12+ Icebreakers to start Core Group or other events 

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Figure 3 – Normalizing Talking about sex (pg. 67)

The following activities foster sexual communication in order to: 

• Support participants in thinking about sex in a positive way, learning to communicate about the use of condoms with both casual and regular partners.
• Help participants become aware of the problems that sexual silence can potentially cause in their lives, including negative health consequences. 

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Figure 3.1 - Shake Your Booty  Pg. 67 (Estimated time 10 minutes)

Objective

To create a setting that facilitates the expression of ideas and beliefs about sex and sexual experiences in a lighthearted way.

Materials

• Chairs
• Recorded music
• Music player
• List of statements (see below)

Instructions for the facilitators

• With the participants’ help, distribute the chairs facing outward, in a circle in the middle of the room. The number of chairs must be one less than the number of participants (like in Musical Chairs).
• At first, all participants are standing.
• Explain the rules of the game:

1. When the music starts, all players walk or dance around the chairs.
2. As soon as the music stops, they have to sit in a chair, keeping in mind that one person will remain standing, as there is one chair less than the number of players.
3. The person who is left standing will read out loud a sentence given to him by one of the facilitators.
4. Upon hearing the description, all participants who have either engaged in that action or desired to do so will stand up and shake their booty to the music.
5. The game then resumes with all participants, including the one who just read the card.

• Explain that the statements on the cards are about sexual situations, positions, activities, fetishes, body parts, etc.
• Explain that those who have been in those situations or fantasized about the things described in the sentence must stand up and shake their booty to the rhythm of the music, following the instructions of the facilitator.
• The facilitators must talk about sex and sexual matters in total comfort.
• Respect the boundaries of anyone who wishes not to talk about his sexual experiences. At the same time, ensure that the environment you create feels safe enough for all participants to feel comfortable talking about these subjects.
• Tell participants they are free to change the terminology/language or the sentences in the cards whichever way they feel more comfortable, whether formal or colloquial.
• Unlike in the game of Musical Chairs, no chair is ever removed here. The activity goes on until 10 statements have been read.

List of Statements

1. Shake your booty if you’ve ever fantasized about having sex with Tom, Dick, or Harry [pick one]. – [Coordinators provide a list of 3 names of famous men the participants are likely to know, and the person reading the card picks one of them].
2. Shake your booty if you’ve ever had or fantasized having oral sex.
3. Shake your booty if you’ve ever [participant comes up with his own idea]. – [Facilitators do keep written track of the options created by participants for future activities].
4. Shake your booty if you’ve ever had sex or fantasized about having sex with someone of a different race.
5. Shake your booty if you’ve ever had sex or fantasized about having sex with a woman.
6. Shake your booty if you’ve ever had or fantasized about being in a threesome.
7. Shake your booty if you’ve ever had or fantasized about having sex with an older man.
8. Shake your booty if you’ve ever had or fantasized about having sex in a public space.
9. Shake your booty if you’ve ever had or fantasized about having group sex.
10. Shake your booty if you’ve ever rimmed/been rimmed or fantasized about rimming.
11. Shake your booty if you’ve ever been or fantasized about being tied up while having sex.
12. Shake your booty if you’ve ever used or fantasized about using a dildo.

Items for discussion Did you hear anything new that you would like to try? How would you make sure that all those fun things were safe? What did you learn from this exercise? FUSE | Mpowerment Dallas TX +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Figure 3.2 – Exercise and discussion on sexual vocabulary. Pg. 69  (Estimated time 20 minutes) Objective The goal of this activity is to become aware of sexual matters that we wish to talk about but that we find it difficult to express. Elicit as many opinions as possible about the reasons why we do not openly discuss sexual tastes and preferences. Materials Chairs Three flip charts Markers of different colors Instructions for facilitators Lay out enough chairs for all participants to sit in a circle. Ensure that this activity moves along fast and lightheartedly, and guide participants to offer responses that are brief and to the point. Participants should be encouraged to respond as quickly as possible, without thinking too much about their answers. (Participants are allowed to skip their turn and pass, if they wish.) The sentences that the facilitator initiates and the participants have to complete are: For me, sex is ... What I like about sex is ... What worries me about sex is ... One of the facilitators writes these sentences at the top of each flip chart. Under each heading, the facilitator will write the answers the participants will provide as completion of the sentence. Participants can answer with a single word or a very short phrase. (Discourage long explanations.) As participants take their turn stating their answers out loud to the group, the facilitators rapidly write them down on each respective flip chart, using markers of different colors When all participants have provided an answer to complete all three sentences, the facilitators will quickly review what they wrote on the flip charts and will lead the participants in a thoughtful analysis of what the activity caused them to think or feel. Discussion The discussion must include an exploration of the following reasons why we do not talk openly about our sexual tastes and preferences: Fear of being judged Fear of rejection Fear of not being accepted Promote a discussion among the participants of the reasons for not openly expressing sexual preferences and tastes, and of what they expect or fear will happen if they tell their sexual partners about their sexual tastes or preferences. United Black Elument | Mpowerment Dallas TX +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Figure 3.3 – Negotiations with a casual partner. Story Telling. pg. 70 (Estimated time: 20 minutes) Objective The goal is to get participants to actively and collectively engage in creating a sexual fantasy involving safer sexual behaviors. Instructions for Facilitators Tell participants that you’re going to have some fun, creating a story together about meeting some hot guy. Let them know it’s going to be fast. Read the paragraph below and then go around the room, asking the first participant to add a couple of sentences to it to begin turning it into a story. The participant next to him will then add another couple of sentences, and so on. In the end, the entire group will have contributed to telling the story of a really hot encounter one night, with a very hot guy. Remind participants that all sexual activities should be such as to prevent transmission of HIV. Starting paragraph Mr. Perfect and I walked back to the hotel room where he was staying. As soon as we entered his room, Mr. Perfect got his hands all over me and started furiously undressing me... Topics for discussion What did you like about this story? What would you have changed this to better suit your erotic desire?  How safe do you think the sex the guys had was? What did you learn from this exercise?  Mpowerment YVR | Vancouver BC

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Figure 3.4 – Four Corners
(Estimated time 5-45 minutes Estimated time 5-45 minutes, depending on how many statements you choose)

Objective
To get into issues regarding sero-sorting, relationships, drug and alcohol use, HIV testing, treatment optimism, strategic positioning, and bisexuality.

Materials
• Flipchart 

• Markers

Instructions for facilitators
Before the activity:

1. In preparation for the activity, write down a number of scenarios on flip chart sheets (see suggestions below) .
2. Each scenario must contain a statement with which participants can agree or disagree.
3. Write down each scenario/statement on a separate flip chart sheet.
4. Write the following four answers on as many flip chart sheets: Strongly agree, Agree, Disagree, and Strongly disagree.
5. Post each of the four flip chart sheet with the response choices in the four corners of the room.

For the activity itself:

1. Have participants take turns reading one of the scenario/statements at a time.
2. After reading each scenario/statement, ask participants to move into the corner with the answer that best represents their opinion.
3. Ask members of each group to explain why they voted the way they did.

Sample scenario / statements

• Two guys meet on a online hook-up site. They both have “HIV-negative” in their profiles. Is it OK for them to have anal sex without a condom.
• Two men who believe they are HIV negative have been dating for four months and using condoms every time they fuck each other. They decide to stop using condoms with each other, but they agree to use condoms with other guys. This is a good way to prevent them from getting HIV.
• Smoking pot makes it more difficult to have safer sex.
• Drinking makes it more difficult to have safer sex.
• Using meth (or GHB, or Ecstasy) makes it more difficult to have safer sex.
• Using poppers makes it more difficult to have safer sex.
• If someone decides to get an HIV test here at [fill in name of local Mpowerment program], no one will find out except for the testing counselor.
• Getting your HIV test results is the hardest part about testing.
• An HIV-negative guy and an HIV-positive guy are dating. It’s safe for the HIV-negative guy to suck the HIV-positive guy’s dick.
• Two men are dating. One of them is HIV-positive. It’s pretty safe for the HIV-negative guy to fuck the HIV-positive guy without a condom.
• If an HIV-positive man is getting treated for HIV, he doesn’t have to worry about transmitting HIV to guys who might be negative.
• HIV-positive men don’t need to use condoms when they have fuck each other.
• It’s wrong for a bisexual man to have sex with a woman, unless she knows that he also has sex with other guys.
• It’s wrong for a bisexual man to have sex with another man, unless he tells him that he also has sex with women. 

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via United Black Element (U-BE) Adaptation of the Mpowerment Project to Young Black MSM.  There are more exercises in the adaptation manual. It is a free download when you register at www.mpowerment.org

2 Easy Group Exercises: Addressing Homophobia

via United Black Element (U-BE) Adaptation of the Mpowerment Project to Young Black MSM.  There are more exercises in the adaptation manual. It is a free download when you register at www.mpowerment.org

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Setting up the space and setting the tone for exercises.

Note: We recommend conducting this brief opening activity at the beginning of each session of activities below.

Objective

• To get participants involved right away by participating in setting the atmosphere.
  
• Having the statements (see list below) on separate signs and posted throughout the room is meant to more easily catch the attention of the participants, who might otherwise easily disregard a list of items all on one sign.

Materials

• Signs

• Something to easily attach the signs to the walls so they can be removed later and re-used.

Ask participants to post the individual signs on the walls around the room


Instructions for the facilitators

Convene the participants back to the center of the room and ask them to read the signs silently and take in their meaning

Statements to be posted on individual signs

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

All questions are important.

Thank you for being here with us.

Join in!

You opinions are invaluable for each one and all of us.

Each single one of us is special and unique.

Your friends need you. Show them that they matter to you.

Your whole community needs you.

The world we dream of is possible. Let's build it together.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Greater Columbus Mpowerment Center | Ohio

RELATED: 12+ Icebreakers to start Core Group or other events 

Figure 2 – Homophobia

The following activities address homophobia in order to:

• Develop awareness and understanding of the experiences of both acceptance and discrimination of different sexual orientations and/or gender identities.
  
• Understand the impact on the lives of individual participants of internalized homophobia/ transphobia and of feelings of shame.
  
• Explore coping skills (both positive/adaptive and negative/maladaptive) used to deal with homophobia and discrimination, including survival strategies.
  
• Experience a sense of community through sharing personal stories of oppression, discrimination, homophobia/transphobia.
  

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Figure 2.1 – Cross the Line 
(Estimated time 30 minutes: 10 minutes for exercise + 20 minutes for discussion) pg. 63.

Objective

The goal of this activity is to explore the impact of participants’ experiences of acceptance and/or denial of their sexuality, with a focus on self-esteem and their identity as gay men. It is essential to explain the concept of internalized homophobia.

Materials

• List of statements 

• Cushions

Instructions for facilitators

1. Have the participants stand in a straight line at the center of the room, all facing the same direction.
2. The facilitators read out loud a set of statements one by one (see list below). Some statements are about positive experiences associated with being gay and one’s sexual identity and others are about negative experiences.
3. Ask participants to listen to each statement. Take one step back if they think it is a negative experience or one step forward if they find it to be a positive experience.
4. If the experience described in any statement feels neither positive or negative, then that participant can stay put and take neither a step forward nor backward.
5. After reading all the statements in the list, the facilitator asks the participants to look around and asses in silence where they stand in relation to other participants.
6. Ask participants to sit down on a cushion in the same exact spot where they landed after taking the various steps during the exercise.
7. Have participants share their thoughts, feelings, and opinions about the activity they just did. (See below for a list of questions that can be used to guide the discussion.)
8. It is important to NOT initiate the discussion by having the participants who find themselves in the rearmost position with respect to the midline talk first. Instead, the facilitators should open the discussion so as to give participants time to reflect. 

List of statements: (Feel free to come up with your own statements too. These are examples).

1. If you like being attracted to other men, take one step forward. If you don’t like being attracted to other men, take one step backward.
2. If you feel comfortable talking with your family about things having to do with your sexual orientation, take one step forward. If you don’t feel comfortable talking about your sexual orientation with your family, take one step backward.
3. If you were made fun of or criticized for being different when you were child, take one step backward. If not, take one step forward.
4. If at work or in school you feel respected as a gay man, take one step forward. If you do not feel respected as a gay man, take one step backward.
5. If you have ever been physically attacked for being gay, take one step backward. If not, take a step forward.
6. If you have ever been verbally harassed/called names for being gay, take one step backward. If not, step forward.
7. If you would feel comfortable walking down the street holding hands with your boyfriend, take one step forward. If you would not feel comfortable, take one step backward.
8. If your family would accept your boyfriend and welcome him to family events, take one step forward. If they would not, take one step backward.
9. If coming out to some friends has caused you to lose them, take one step backward. If not, take one step forward.
10. If you have ever felt embarrassed or ashamed to tell a physician or a nurse that you are gay, take one step backward. If not, take one step forward.
11. If you never felt rejected by your family for being gay, take one step forward. If you ever felt rejected by your family for being gay, take one step backward.
12. If you have ever been discriminated against because you are gay, take one step backward. If not, take one step forward.

Questions that may be used to facilitate the discussion

• How did it feel to take part in this activity?
• How did you feel when you took a step backward?
• How did you feel when you took a step forward?
• How do you think the experiences described in the statements used in this activity influence the way you relate to and behave with other men?

What the facilitators should ask (and say) at the end of the discussion.

• Why are gay men mistreated and discriminated?
• How does discrimination affect the way we are?

The concept of homophobia refers to the fear (or phobia) of homosexuality. This fear can be expressed as disgust/loathing, hatred, prejudice, or discrimination directed against men or women who are homosexual, or toward any type of sexual diversity.

There is also something called internalized homophobia, which refers to the process where we unconsciously accept the homophobia of our families and of society and make it our own, which can leave its mark on our own feelings and thoughts, leading us to feel ashamed, fearful, not confident, even loathing ourselves and others. When we internalize homophobia, we accept being mistreated or rejected as if we thought we deserved it, without questioning it.

All this can affect how much we care for ourselves as well as the way in which we interact with and treat other members of the gay community, including our own friends and even boyfriends.

What the facilitators should say at the conclusion of the activity

We used this activity to facilitate the discussion of how these experiences affect us and how, at times, we may internalize society’s negative attitudes toward us without even being aware of it and of the damage they do to us.

• How did it feel to participate in this exercise?
• What do you think you have learned from it?

NOTE: In order to not leave participants feeling down, you should find the time to conduct this activity should be done back to back with the next activity (Figure 2.2-From Rejection to Celebration), which celebrates being gay. 

Mpowerment Training Newark NJ | 7.2014

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Figure 2.2 – From rejection to Celebration (Estimated time 45 minutes) pg. 65

Objective

The object of this activity is to explore how certain life events may affect one’s self-esteem and even become a source of internalized homophobia. At the same time, this activity provides an opportunity to consciously celebrate our present lives. Another objective is to emphasize how often we ask for mere tolerance instead of demanding a celebration of our sexuality. Developing self-esteem and pride in who we are is another objective, as is an exploration of the coping skills and survival strategies that participants have used and found helpful.

Materials

Note: Several days before the activity are needed to preparation.
• A stack of blank cards (of two different colors) • Pencils or pens
• A box for collecting and keeping the cards in

For the activity itself:

• A board with the “Tolerance Scale” (see instructions below)
• Markers of different colors

Instructions for the facilitators

For at least one week prior to the activity:

1. Ask any guys who frequent the Project Space to write brief accounts of powerful memories they have of life-changing situations and/or experiences that had to do with their sexual orientation, or the expression of their masculinity, or of their femininity. (Let the guys know that these cards are anonymous and so they should not name names.)
   
2. Each person should receive two cards and relate both one positive experience on one card and one negative experience on the other. (Positive experience on yellow cards, for example, and negative experiences on white cards; the color doesn’t really matter as long as you can easily separate positive from negative experience when the time comes.)
   
3. Facilitators collect all cards in a box and keep them ready for the activity.
   

For the activity itself

1. During the activity, the facilitators read out loud an equal number of cards from the positive and the negative decks and ask participants to classify the story in one of three columns: Rejection, Tolerance, Celebration. These columns have been previously drawn on a board for all to see.
   
2. The facilitators will guide a group discussion of what happened in this activity (see below for a list of questions to be used in small groups). The goal is to encourage participants to engage in a thoughtful debate of the impact of oppression and homophobia at various levels: personal, social, and sexual.
   
3. Participants will be asked to share with the entire group what strategies they have adopted in their lives to confront negative situations similar to those that emerged in the stories read in the course of the activity. But, at the same time, they will also be asked what they have done to move forward with their lives and gain acceptance and celebration from the people who surround them. (See questions below to facilitate the discussion.)
   
4. Bring the discussion to a close by exploring the ways in which one’s sexual and/or gender identity can be celebrated in everyday life, as well as the ways we can support each other—after this activity and outside of the Project Space—in developing the strength to resist or face negative situations in a healthy manner and to feel good in our skin and celebrate our sexuality and who we are.
   

Questions for facilitating the discussion

• How have people’s reactions to your sexual orientation (and/or gender identity) affected your life? What strategies have you used to deal with these reactions?
• Which of these strategies did you find useful?
• Do you have any strategies for dealing with rejection and homophobia in your life that you could recommend to others? 

What the facilitators should say at the conclusion of the activity

• We all have used different ways to confront different situations. What’s important is how we fight back and react. In order to not let these experiences damage our self-esteem, we should develop a sense of inner strength and ability to resist, which will also help us take care of ourselves in a loving way.
  
• It is also important to discover ways to celebrate our sexuality and identity, as well as way to support each other.
  
• This is truly one of the main goals of these activities, and although we cannot devote much time to these topic here, we hope that we can continue these discussions outside of this Project Space, and use them to initiate conversations on these topics with our friends outside of here. 
  

Haven Mpowerment Project | Springfield MO

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via United Black Element (U-BE) Adaptation of the Mpowerment Project to Young Black MSM.  There are more exercises in the adaptation manual. It is a free download when you register at www.mpowerment.org